How's that for being self aware

This post is a marker saying that I spent three hours sitting in front of my computer trying to write something, and then realizing that I am just an attention whore who wants to do this blog so that it will be easier to imagine that everyone thinks i'm funny and interesting and just an amazing person, without me having to put in any effort outside of pounding these keys and using a little artistic license to make it seem like i don't just sit in my house worrying about how i'm not a 40-year-old accomplished humorist tucked in a 21-year-old body and about the less-than-ten-greater-than-eight cavities just sitting around idly in between my molars.

Other realizations:
- I took a year off of writing to focus on reading, which then spanned into two years, not because i was actually focusing on reading to better my writing but because I am lazy and scared that I'm not funny anymore and that my moment as a published writer is now behind me.
- What's the worst that could happen if i just told the truth? Context: this blog would be significantly better if my mom didn't barrage me with articles about how you have to list every internet alias you've ever used if you ever want to get a job with the government or how if you do anything slightly adventurous or out of the norm with your life you will never be allowed around children again. The latter of which I'm sure isn't true, or is at least completely unwarranted, since i know a tattooed, pot-smoking daycare teacher who is incredibly invested in her job and the welfare of her charges, and godspeed to her. Would Hunter S. Thompson be able to find employment in today's workplace? Does everyone realize that it would be a crime if he didn't exist as a force within journalism?

Also I'm afraid of telling my family things, even though it might make things more interesting.

But it's not like they're your real family, Cara.

True and false. On paper they are. But I am living proof that genetic relation does matter - ex: I clearly missed out on the Catholic gene, which, much to my continued shock, everyone else in my family possesses.

 So, you tell them the truth, thereby standing by your life choices and having integrity, and the number of interactions between your extended family and you falls from "incredibly rare" to "none." And there'd probably be a good story involved.

You're right. This is really a win-win.

- I think i've lost all my empathy and understanding of others' points of view and become a radical.
- The only thing i'm an expert on anymore is myself.